Monday, May 5, 2014

Sheeee's Baaaack!

Yep, this could be my self portrait a week ago. I'm over the worst and returning
to a semblance of normal.

As they say, normal is just a setting on a dryer, and thus overrated.
Over on Pinterest, I have a board to stash the things I really feel. The image below
sums up the last few weeks. Or months - it's all a big blur, really.

find more like this here

In true grrl+dog style, I have a story to tell. With pictures, because I've been journalling.
A frozen shoulder stopped me hurling a molotov into the studio as I wanted, and I had to mope on the couch till the weird test results came back and then the ten thousand vitamins to correct it kicked in.

No kidding I rattle.

The creative juices are beginning to drip slowly. I still think everything I do is crap, but now I don't care.

Antidepressant -free life is looking rosier thanks to my doctor - you know, the beautiful Asian woman of inscrutable age who said to watch out for a honeymoon period when coming off antidepressants?

Turns out she was right.

Turns out she is no ordinary doctor.  Not the "here have a script now
go away" kind. She believes in the power of nutrition.

Grumbling to the eyebrow tint lady,  I was saying how the new (no fun and definitely no pizza) diet was OK, but not helping the frozen shoulder and not helping weight loss either.

Without even looking up she said, "Well that's not it, then. It's not the answer."

And it wasn't.

I had to go pee into a cup in the dark and have it flown to Brisbane to find out what was going on. Some lab person was going to stick a stick in my pee to see if it turned mauve. Not pink or blue, but mauve. I could have flown up to Brissie and delivered it myself for the cost of this test, because Medicare does not cover mauve pee tests.

Because there is no drug that cures the mauve pee test, only vitamins, and because Medicare hates that.

What is the mauve pee test? I'll that for next time.
And the story.


  1. Bloody hell. Well don't jump up and down too much then. And have a look at the Cult Pens website. Might get you creatively dribbling a bit!!

  2. Your back! Just Hurrah! You were missed! I wanted to stock you, but you needed your space.

  3. oh you are back on the hamster wheel! I am so joyous this morning even if you are rattling and peeing mauve pee! the fact you think everything you do is crap is a life lesson for all of us...cause you are FRIGGIN AWESOME and still you have doubts! we really dont see ourselves correctly do we! love and hugs to my favourite rattly artist xxxx

  4. welcome back... and no honey what you do is not crap.... none of it.... what you do is what you need to do to express/find/enjoy/occupy yourself... none of which is crap.... now stop saying that and get out there and make what you love making.... and here's a big hug to help you.... :D HUG


  5. what bright glorious photos.
    mauve pee sounds ultra bad.
    Been there done that with the anti depressives. sending love and virtual hugs and maybe some fresh fruit but maybe some candy if you are allowed it!

  6. So happy to hear from you again!
    You look after yourself .
    Hugs from across the oceans x

  7. Great to have you back amongst us D, in living color! mauve peer and all

  8. So glad you're back and starting toe feel better... good luck with the antidepressant thing. I have never been able to do it; just taking them for the rest of my life. hugs to you.

  9. Who new pee tests came in such pretty colours! Good to have you back:)

  10. Glad you're coming alive again, however that plays out in your life. Love all your photos, especially the one on top, which may or may not be yours exactly, but who cares? Hang in there, girl. xo

  11. THERE YOU ARE!!! missed you though I sort of keep up with you on FB. You make me so happy to be alive at the same time as you.Depression is such a complex thing, no body seems to understand it very well. Can be in our DNA, our collective conscience , a trauma, a shite parent. No body knows and it can not be pinned down.Prozac bailed me out and I am forever a fan! No matter what sort of bad press- it saved my life. So glad to see your art again, LOVE it LOVE you and I love your pooch!

  12. joining in the collective love in ... I've missed you even while secretly stalking your pinterest pins.

    1. nothing you do is crap.
    2. hormonal - nutritional imbalances suck giant monkeyballs.
    3. medicare needs to get a clue.
    4. I want that fucking t-rex mask.

  13. Your writing and your art is anything but crap, whether you write about the crap times or write about the good times. Welcome back.

  14. Welcome Home!
    I want mauve pee. Is that crazy?!

  15. So glad to see you back! I'm just in the middle of a frozen shoulder- what a ridiculous stupid ailment. Will look forward to reading the next part of your story.

    1. Yup - it is,

      especially when it appears for no reason, and the chiro says, “well it happens in menopause” That answer was never good enough for me, so I went searching. They did recommend the anti inflammatory diet, (the one with no pizza), and though it reduced the inflammation in my entire body and I felt fantastic, the frozen shoulder remained frozen.

      This led me to the purple pee test….

      Don’t give up,


  16. this is a brilliant and useful book.
    out of print but you might find it in the library.
    the author explains exactly why and what nutrition is important and why exercise and the correct balance of minerals can go a very long way toward sorting out depression.
    and the good thing is that it is not a stodgy read.
    welcome back.
    [could that purple pee be useful in a dyepot???]

    1. Happy to pee in any pot for you, Ms India...

  17. Giggle.... purple pee in the dye pot. Welcome back Denise. Hope your pee, frozen shoulder and everything else returns to normal soon. Don't ever say what you do is crap. Besides all your other attributes, you are an amazing story teller and illustrator. I love dog curled up asleep on your journal page.

  18. One of my favourite colours and a hell of a lot better than asparagus pee... hoping your shoulder gets sorted out soon and you manage to keep off the tablets. You never fail to surprise me that each time you go through an awful experience you produce such amazing work, it must help you enormously, all I'd be able to do would be to curl up until it passed. xx

  19. I was just popping in to see how you were doing. Maybe that's what I need...lots of vitamins. I am looking forward to your mauve pee sounds like a plan.
    I feel like crap half the time, and don't know what the heck is wrong with me. Maybe my diet is wrong too. Or it could just be this dumb planet we are on which is over-loaded with pollution as it's in everything...yeah...and I love pizza too!

  20. Well well well my dolly! I thought I had commented but I didn't or it didn't go here. as the kids say 'what ever...'
    I'm so glad to see you and to see me on this much slower wheel than fb. Time to ponder, digest, come back, think about a response. Chronic illness is so massively something - a teacher true but wow, the kind you could only possibly appreciate long after graduation (or dropping out if you are me). As a poet I like to look at the words of the illness - frozen shoulder - hmmm... well the frozen world is that which we ignore because we fear its pain. Shoulders are what we use to put to the grind stone, shoulder our guns, push our way into something - I think you must tell your shoulder you will not use it thus anymore. Instead you will be a shoulder for YOU to cry on, you will be the soft rounded shoulders of the real mother, mossy hills to lie on with perfect picnics and lovely silly dogs. So nice to have you back in my view, dear Denise, my pal.

  21. I just wrote such a long lovely comment that was eaten by my evil machine. Let's see if I can remember it - chronic illness is a teacher that cannot be appreciated until we have graduated (or dropped out if you are like me). Sometimes, I think, it is good to look at the poetics of a disease. Frozen shoulder. the frozen world is the shadow side that we do not wish to acknowledge but that continues to affect us until we do. Shoulders are for putting to the grind stone, or pushing forward with, resting our guns on. Perhaps you could tell your shoulder you will not do that anymore. Instead you will look for the soft shoulders of the mother - the mossy hills and banks of rivers - where you will rest and recover your lightness of being while eating cucumber sandwiches, drinking ginger beer and watching dogs frolic. So glad to see you here and at my place dear Denise...if I had my glorious pink wig here in Labrador I'd wear it today thinking of you. consider yourself kissed.


Life is short. Speak your mind.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...