Sunday, February 2, 2014

Why I stopped believing in God

"Tinkle" was a special request and now lives in St Louis singing Judy Garland Songs

Something weird is going on - weirder even for me.

Stuff is selling in my Etsy shop.

Somewhere in the far reaches of the galaxy, over with the zombie apocalypse 
gear, and beanies knitted in dog hair, is my shop. 

For months nothing has darkened it's doorstep but crickets and that 
person who wanted the special rush commission then disappeared on 
a tumbleweed, never to be heard of again.

"Gradually" is off to live in Papakura, a really cool part of New Zealand.

Was it that obscure treasury? Was it the new moon in the sign of the pickle jar?

I'm blaming God.
I stopped believing in him after he didn't send me a jack in a box. 
It was a Monday. The day before we had all done our fuzzy felt picture 
of the nativity. I had my palm trees stuck in the right place and there 
was lace around white ankle socks. The teacher was telling us about 
praying." You just need to ask God. He will grant you what ever you 
need if you just pray."

Well that's handy, I thought, because what I need is a Jack- in- a- box.
Monday appeared, but no springy puppet guy and that was 
the end of God for me. 

"Joy" a vintage patchwork quilt angel is going to Joan who has come back three times.

I think God may have some pull with Etsy,  because in the last three weeks, 
my strange little softies are lining up to go into the post.

It isn't the Etsy seller e-books, which could be the modern day 
version of a jack in a box; Click a button and out spews a regurgitation of 
what you already sort of knew in the first place, only now you've 
paid for it. 

God may have been listening  to the terrible arguments I had with a 
long gone business partner, because whenever we screamed at each 
other for an hour or so in the morning, a client would call to cancel. 
No kidding. Every time.

It was either God, or they could hear us over the other side of town. 

Beloved has been adopted and now lives in a magical place called, "Evergreen"

Here's what I think:
No matter how many e-books you read, how many nifty css tweaks and life hacks,  one element remains.

You are not in control.

Not of the big stuff, anyway. The big stuff is the the the vast ebb and flow of 
cosmic soup we all bob about in. Maybe God was checking her Facebook and 
spotted one of my softies and for the briefest nano second, 
thought "Oohh Shiny!"
Or not.

Beloved and her friend, Loved

It's the mystery that keeps us going. 

Me praying: So God.... It's fine about the Jack in a Box, really.
God: If you got everything you wanted, how would that be?
Me: Boring, after a while.
God: And if you knew why your selling suddenly now, how would that be?
Me: Like reading the last pages of the best book ever, then feeling ripped off.
God: You're catching on.

One of the last guardian angels


  1. All your little beings are such Happy little souls!

  2. I'm so glad for you! Your creatures are precious!

  3. If you didn't live on the other side of the world, I'd have bought something long ago, I love your stuff! X

  4. That's excellent - and inspiring/reassuring. I have many visitors to my etsy shop but alas, as yet, no buyers. Maybe one day :)

    I stopped asking g/God for things after my 6th miscarriage thinking that maybe I was asking for the wrong thing. I started planning a holiday instead and yes, got pregnant. He's now 18 and has two siblings. Maybe I've done well enough :) x

  5. Hooray for ETSY - your softies sell because they are way COOL.
    Buster sending love to Bruce.


  6. They all look like such happy chappies. They will bring their new families nowt but joy and sunshine.

  7. GOD - never been any evidence to support It's existence. The idea of GOD makes people lazy and unaccountable for shit that happens . As far as your Etsy shop going gang busters it is because of YOU and your talent and your lovely little beings! You rock it, Sistah!

  8. Love your little creatures. People have now caught up and realized how precious they are. But I agree with you about the control-thingy. Sometimes however hard you try it just doesn't work but sometimes it comes completely unexpected ....

  9. I love your conversation with God ... I dont suppose you have had any etsy sales with " Heaven" as their postal address as yet ???? Perhaps God will want to purchase one soon I feel. Your creations are amazing.

    Years go when my son got into trouble at College I prayed & prayed & made all sort of "pacts with God" if they would just let him stay there . . . they didnt ... I withdrew him & together we did correspondence school for almost 2 years & it was honestly the BEST thing that ever happened. Sometimes it all works out okay in the bigger scheme of things. Keep creating x0x

    1. Hi Julie,
      Yep..pretty much is the conclusion I came to - You just never know what is coming around the corner..

  10. oh you are so brilliant, ;love your words.... and your works.... hugs

  11. love your work and your funny wonderful soul! x

  12. Beloved and loved are fantastic! let's hope the ball keeps rolling for you. x

  13. I suspect you are selling more because you are getting more exposure in magazines and in blog land. Or maybe like the Stones sang "You can't always get what you want, Just what you need". I think there is divine order in the cosmic soup, ultimately. Whatever it is I hope it continues.

    1. p.s. If you can me me Tinkle the dog I want one!

  14. You have such a warm humorous way with the ups and downs and the flow of life and art

  15. You're absolutely right, I am one big fat control freak. Now after many years on this planet I am starting to realise that it doesn't work!
    I think the fact that your work is beautiful also helps though!

  16. So glad you are selling things in your Etsy shop! You have a lot of common sense here on your blog and maybe people realize they need to support your effort of creativity, plus what you make is so d a r n cute!!!

  17. What a great post about the "Just Going" ( as Jude Hill coined it) of making art and so good to see your work selling !

  18. When we learn to live the Mystery, everything changes. And those people who told us their version of God delivered Jacks-in-the-box on demand were lying, but you already knew that. xo


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