Saturday, December 7, 2013

Give away! (de)merit badges for everyone

(De) merit badges are for the mysterious qualities that make you special.
The things no body ever validated you for, like cocktail drinking and
having one million pins on pinterest. (My personal goal.) They are an
announcement of how freakin awesome and amaze-balls you truly are.

This douche canoe badge is for the ones who didn't tell you how awesome you were.
In case you're thinking it looks like a...well that's just your filthy mind,
and there's a badge for that as well.

this is the douche canoe (de)merit badge, by grrl+dog

The cocktail badge requirements:

  • Meet your extremely attractive badge assessor-person in a bar.
  • Order five cocktails and identify each by name, ingredients and appropriate garnish.
  • Make a mini animals from the toothpicks.
  • Leave the bar upright with the assessor's phone number.
  • At this point you may also qualify for another badge by making an indecent proposal to anyone in the bar to earn your hoe badge. (Not illustrated)

The Sticking Up For Yourself badge has some requirements:

  • Explain the differences between "bitch" and "assertive" as it applies to women.
  • Give an example of how women's assertiveness is accepted in the general world.
  • Demonstrate how you would use this merit badge when interacting with a douche-canoe.

the Sticking Up for Yourself Badge

Surviving childhood is a major badge to earn and must be displayed
prominently on your sash. Together with the optimist badge, they
are a sought after pair.

They are so much fun to make and can be done in an hour. I'm still chugging 
on the tutorial but for now lets have a give away. There are four sets of "flip the bird" 
(de) merit badge kits available. Celebrate the finger! You know you want one.

Just tell us how you would earn your Flip the bird (de)merit badge in the comments. 
One example shown below. The winner will be judged after several cocktails
 before next week, by a panel of experts.

This grrl gets a (de)merit badge

(de)merit badge for flipping the bird, by grrl +dog

Not only that, but there's a corresponding give away on my Facebook page:
A mystery badge PLUS two "Self care" badge kits.

Earning the self care badge is easy too - it's for all the advice you ever got about
how to live your life from people who had no clue. Next time they start, you
can flash your "I know how to care of myself" badge at them. Similar to
"Talk to the Hand", but more polite.

The "I can take care of myself" badge, by grrl+dog

The rest of you will just have to buy your own pack here. There are only three,
because I could not find any more groovy red wool fabric in my huge stash.
So - how would you earn your badge?


  1. I really REALLY love the amazeballs (de) merit badge....... I really do!!!! I hope you have one of those for yourself too!!!

  2. Bubbling laughter over the hoe badge... lol.... but would love the talk to the hand badge. Perhaps I would stick it on my forehead when in the company of douche canoes.

  3. I LOVE the flip the bird badge!!! I'd like to wear that at work --all day, everyday!!!

  4. This is so good. So, so, so good.

  5. You deserve a MERIT badge for all that. I say go to Blurb and make a book about them. xoxo

  6. These are so full of kick-ass heart, just what so many of us need - and deserve - for years of unacknowledged splendor and not drowning when those douche canoes sank. Bravo. xo

  7. Flipping the bird to the person who trounced me on Twitter last week - take that! X


    1. oh yes. and the trouncer needs a douche canoe badge.

  8. You're hilarious!! Had a good laugh here. Have a great weekend! xo

  9. Love these! My daughter would love one of these to wear to work - her boss at her part time job offered her full time work last week, this week he 'changed his mind' !!!

  10. I would love a flip the birdy badge to wear this Christmas ! So when I'm at a snooty family gathering this Christmas I can wear it with pride and flip the birdy at some of my "up there own arse" relative's.... Teehee :D

  11. That Flip the Bird demerit badge is GENIUS!!!! I am fairly certain I could easily earn one one any given trip to the grocery store this "holiday" season.

  12. Wonderful Grrl... just so cleaver and hilarious and more!
    Still ... love that self care badge ... just somethin' about it!

  13. Actually, could I please apply for which ever one is most suitable to wear as my husband tells me yet again that Xmas is not stressful!
    (Sorry, most un-British of me I know, but I feel that I can let rip on your fab patch of blog land. Love it here!)

    1. let it rip, Mrs B -
      hmm lets see..... it could be the cocktail drinker's badge....or maybe the "talk to the hand"?

  14. Wow, these badges are awesome! I don't remember any of them from when I was in the Girl Scouts (which is probably why I quit). I' pretty sure I will never earn the "sticking up for yourself" badge, as I am always uncertain, whenever attempting to be assertive, whether I've actually been a bitch. Flipping the bird, though, I might actually be able to manage. Like, the next time I'm being ripped apart by my boss (who isn't even officially my boss) for doing what is clearly the right thing, I would say, "I stand by my decision, so... [flipping the bird}".

    By the way, this post is hilarious! Laughed so hard I nearly wet myself.

  15. hurray! how about a "questions the lies that are told to you"


    1. Yep - "What you don't know wont hurt them"

  16. I'd give the Flip the Bird deMerit badge to a woman who works day after day to save shelter dogs but sometimes runs into rescue drama from people with big egos and little brains. These are very clever!

  17. I got a semaphore and animal lover's badge so I can wave flags whilst riding a hamster!!! I'm not much good at much but people round here think I'm daftly daft and wouldn't be surprised at anything I did next... oh take no notice, it's only HER...

  18. Being a mostly by bicycle commuter I could hand out these (de)merit badges everyday! Or earn it myself as my finger flies freely all over town!

    Love these, what a great idea.

  19. Hey admin, good Posting. Totally Great blog post. You have gained a completely new reader. Pls continue this awesome work and I look forward to more of your gorgeous blog posts. Thank you very much, .

    Cardsharing Server

    1. wow, what kind of douche canoe spammer are you??

  20. So, I'm thinking that any woman that has been in the dating pool at anytime in her life has earned at least one "Douche Canoe" de-merit badge! I might have to get a couple of those for my daughter, along with the "Flippin' Bird"!

  21. Thank you so much!
    Am made up that pne of my pics is on your legendary blogX

  22. You take the cake! Denise
    I can't stop laughing about these (de)-merit badges. Hope everyone who got one enjoys them and wears them to pieces! Ha!
    You brighten my day, girl!
    Teresa in California

  23. This is hilarious! Meet your assessor! I can't remember how many badges I got in Brownies - used to read the book (that I may still have) and ponder what could I do? I did get the housekeeping one (haha!), by darning a sock and polishing a copper pot. Glory, destined for great things...


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