(De) merit badges are for the mysterious qualities that make you special.
The things no body ever validated you for, like cocktail drinking and
having one million pins on pinterest. (My personal goal.) They are an
announcement of how freakin awesome and amaze-balls you truly are.
This douche canoe badge is for the ones who didn't tell you how awesome you were.
In case you're thinking it looks like a...well that's just your filthy mind,
and there's a badge for that as well.
The cocktail badge requirements:
- Meet your extremely attractive badge assessor-person in a bar.
- Order five cocktails and identify each by name, ingredients and appropriate garnish.
- Make a mini animals from the toothpicks.
- Leave the bar upright with the assessor's phone number.
- At this point you may also qualify for another badge by making an indecent proposal to anyone in the bar to earn your hoe badge. (Not illustrated)
The Sticking Up For Yourself badge has some requirements:
- Explain the differences between "bitch" and "assertive" as it applies to women.
- Give an example of how women's assertiveness is accepted in the general world.
- Demonstrate how you would use this merit badge when interacting with a douche-canoe.
the Sticking Up for Yourself Badge
Surviving childhood is a major badge to earn and must be displayed
prominently on your sash. Together with the optimist badge, they
are a sought after pair.
They are so much fun to make and can be done in an hour. I'm still chugging
on the tutorial but for now lets have a give away. There are four sets of "flip the bird"
(de) merit badge kits available. Celebrate the finger! You know you want one.
Just tell us how you would earn your Flip the bird (de)merit badge in the comments.
One example shown below. The winner will be judged after several cocktails
before next week, by a panel of experts.
Not only that, but there's a corresponding give away on my Facebook page:
A mystery badge PLUS two "Self care" badge kits.
Earning the self care badge is easy too - it's for all the advice you ever got about
how to live your life from people who had no clue. Next time they start, you
can flash your "I know how to care of myself" badge at them. Similar to
"Talk to the Hand", but more polite.
because I could not find any more groovy red wool fabric in my huge stash.
So - how would you earn your badge?