Sunday, September 29, 2013

Unlike me

Along with the unused bag of art supplies and 100 rolls of washi tape gathering designer dust on the shelf, I got rid of some facebook friends. Uh oh... you're not supposed to admit that, right? Facebook doesn't admit it. Facebook allows an unobtrusive fade only a stalker could spot. No emails rubbing your nose in it: "Mystuffs just UNLIKED you. 50% off razor blades and rat poison."

Well it's my feed, and I'll do what I want. Here's why:

Every time some people's work pops into my feed, my teeth lose
a layer of enamel. The voice starts: 'You'll never be as good
as her, look what she's making NOW, ffs. (insert whatever your
issue is here) "

I have artist envy on a life I imagine someone else having.  I cant help myself. Oh wait, yes I can, I can unlike.

I imagine all their fabulous-er than mine art work, the chirping ching of pay pal registers and their happy happy lives. Go on, you do it too.  Oh, you don't? Excellent reason to unlike me right now.
Watching the news is a fantastic way to feel small and powerless,
its designed like that. Why design your own torture?

And while you're there, unlike anyone else that gives you the shits.
Anyone not immediately inducing unrelenting fabulousness goes.
Cull that blog roll. They wont die, promise. You've probably moved on anyway. Think of the honest comments you can give to those you do love - maybe even your self.

Apart from the talking horse in the late 60's, I loved the Addams Family. They were alternative, lived their own lives completely unconcerned with fitting in. They were also the only tv couple with passion. Real french speaking, arm kissing passion that said, yes folks, we have sex, a lot.

Morticia had that half smile because she knew a thing or two, plus
she was was getting lots of sex. She was busy being herself. She said, "Don't beat yourself up, Gomez darling, that's my job.' Until I cultivate Morticia's centredness and poise, and maybe her sex life, I'll be culling.
Meanwhile, don't allow online feed to beat you up. Fill it with those who make you want to jump out of your chair and go make something. I'm not going to be "nice" anymore. Being nice just got me bent over, underpaid and undervalued. You don't have to be "nice" either. Here, I'll write you a slip:

I love getting unlikes. Every unlike brings me closer to people
who totally get me. Who wants 5000 likes? I want to hide under
the doona with a pair of scissors to cut two holes for eyes and
maybe one for cups of tea and live there forever.

Bring on the tiny tea party. In fact I predict 50 likes will be the
new 5000 likes. It's all about niche. Not that I even know what a
niche really is - maybe women who drink cups of tea in forts
they made from blankets. But culling is a great place to start.

So if you're one of the culled, and still reading this, you must be
a stalker because that stuff is really hard to find out. But if you are,
then it's not you, it's me. I liked your work enough to feel threatened and admired you to the detriment of my own confidence.
It's because your are good, OK? Don't get all bunched up,
this is a compliment.

I'm working on my confidence and methods of expression,
in case you hadn't noticed, and that means a cull. I need to do a
bit more navel gazing, but I've just dug a heap of lint out
and it's bit raw, so while my belly button is resting, I'll just click.

Images from my new, tidy studio and the AA Altered journal
I sometimes pretend to work in.
P.S. Blogger has decided on it's own formatting of this post..


  1. Rock On Some More!!!!! To Kiss With MakeUp!!!!! Glad I'm still one of the "likes" - seriously - and love getting mega envy over your dribblingly gorgeous work. So Ner. I'm greener round the face than you are.

    1. And just for good measure...... diddly pom, click click. Diddly pom click click. Diddly pom, diddly pom, diddly pom click click. Dooby dooby dooby (you know the tune and maybe the words too...!!) the Adams fami-LEEE!!

  2. Love the post..I get rid of people all the's to sort to worry about people I don't know and will never meet....

  3. You have such a way with words never disappoint.....

    Claire x

  4. not stalking, just hanging about cos i like how you write. even if you might not want to come over and play in my treehouse. wotevs. i have big gel boots
    i can draw cats with my keyboard. well, part of one anyways

    ###### #
    ###### #

  5. Stumbled across your blog, go you girl! SASHAY YOU STAY.

  6. I'm distracted because I actually know what a doona is. We call it a duvet, but I have a best friend in Australia...ha! Distraction over. I like your style, and this time I don't just mean your artwork.

  7. I'll always stalk you :)
    I'm only friends with people on facebook if I have some kind of relationship with them -- like family or friends. If I have never met you or sent you a personal email.... you're likely not my friend on facebook.
    As for people who I compare myself too ... well, I hardly have time for art anymore (my teaching passion took over) So I am happy to keep blog stalking because.... once I have looked at it and loved it on blogs or pinterest, I kind of feel like I own a bit of it in my heart and that makes me happy! Sheesh... rereading that makes me sound so sappy.... maybe what I mean is that I'm happy to sit back and enjoy the view. Yeah, that's it.

    1. Hell no, Martha,
      I remember your blog from back before the wheel was invented, around 2009. Well you and I go way back, even if it’s just the odd pop in and say hi type of thing.

      so glad you did,



  8. Whatever and/or whoever got the boot, I got a Google+ notice and here I am, not that I'd been away. Simply seeing the colors of your fabrics makes me happy. Jars of plastic monsters and creatures make me happy. Your journal, all your work, our shared paths of 12-step lives make me happy. Standing at the front of the room with our pants falling down and being willing to come back again next week, or next day, well, this is not for everyone. And anything that drives us further from knowing and owning the unique wonders that we are has no place here. I would kiss each of your papier mache beings on its nose/snout/beak. Rave on, Morticia. xo

    1. Ms Marylinn, you are another faithful one whose bloggy I follow since before the wheel was invented.
      Yes we share some paths...happy about that.

  9. shit shit shit....i wasn't stalking you but i friggin well am now! Love this post! I too beat myself up and create a tower of self-esteem crumbling doom in this virtual world i love and hate all at the same time! I'm sewing a blanket fort and putting the tea on my lovely...wanna come over, we can form a niche....sprinkle cheese on it and does it make it kiesche? (frig how do you spell correct has just told me 'eschew'...that doesn't sound good with cheese! correct said kitchen to that one, kiche......shit auto correct said niche!!!! lol.........quiche.....shit thats it!!!!!) sorry for the swears, a potty mouth...not so great with tea and quiche...but if you want quiche in my niche get over it! eeeeek! xxxxxxxxx

  10. Oh you make me laugh. I might borrow your slip sometime! X

  11. seriously, i cannot cope with too much stimulation confuses my identity. too many signposts , too many choices , too many suggestions and i can completely loose myself ...that is from myself . i don't know what i am on about anymore. hmmmm luckily i do not gather friends at all really ..just have a few faithful ones that i prefer to be not toooo much like me so as to have a competition , but just enough so as to have some thing to say each other. love your way with the truth . it is so darn truthful ..ouch !

    1. I just bark... never bite... you're safe here.

  12. Love the "getting unlikes brings me closer to the people who totally get me"!
    Excellent excellent post - thank you!!

  13. Followed your blog for ages but only because your work inspires me.

  14. stalk stalk stalk stalky stalk stalk.... no I don't.. love your collections and work.. and words you are brilliant with words.... as to envy.... give it the finger and create what gives you enjoyment..

  15. So wise and honest- life's too short to be nice for the sake of it and we have to surround ourselves with things/people that nurture not drain us! I'm going to keep following cos I like your "you-ness"

  16. May I make a comment also on magazines like "Somerset Life" or their blogging magazine. Now don't get me wrong - I have been a big fan of many of the Somerset periodicals. But those two set my teeth on edge, I don't even pick them up anymore. They feature 'perfect people' living the 'good life' with everything so tastefully and creatively done that I have to grit my teeth!! Yes, I admit that I browse blogs and love pin interest but at least there I'm seeing what people are doing and how they do it and it inspires me to push on with my own play. Also I'll admit it -- in spite of family pressure -- I am not on Facebook and probably never will be -- my 'friends' are near and dear to me and not faceless people who are simply checking up on me. *smile* Loved this post!

  17. Wise words, I'm all for BS-free people and blogs. As for the grovelly "like me" or "follow me" posts, I'm over them. All for the nitty gritty, warts and all- types, love what you do and say. (said in a non-ass-licking tone of course!)

  18. just saw this quote on Alice's Bucket List Blog. Don't pity the man with one true friend. Envy him.
    Pity the man with a thousand acquaintances. Thought it would fit well here.

  19. Refreshing. I loved reading through you post and getting a blast of fresh air as a result! Thank you

  20. Question........
    Please please tell me how to unfollow someone in blog land, i have a heap of them that i never even look at, and a good ol' clear out is good for the soul....

  21. Very funny, well said. one day if our paths should ever cross, i would like have a coffee with you.;-) so i can discuss blog envy. art envy is in us all....

  22. You are a dag - pretty sure you elicit the self-same jaw dropping envy in those who encounter your gorgeous stitches/work/photos/journals/bone crushing honesty/tidy studio and excellent attitude to dogs! Still, kudos on the cull ...


    1. I nearly snorted my tea - bone crushing??? Thanks Sue, I am honoured to be a dag, and the studio remained tidy for about 6 hours. Back to happy chaos.

  23. You are funny!

    I haven't read any comments yet, but I will go back and read them. I hardly blog any more and it's because I'm tired of feeling bad for not blogging. I've culled my blogroll and only surf blogs for a few minutes a week because I find that it keeps me from making my own unique art. I do LOVE seeing inspirational things like your lovelies, which are completely unlike anyone and anything else's, and for those bloggers and artists who simple work work work away, because they can't help it, and not to promote themselves constantly, I am so thankful for their bravery in showing their imperfections and trials and starts and stops. That's the vibrancy of art! That's when art is alive, when it changes, when it starts over.

    I used to feel so guilty about not blogging much and not reading every blog. But very little of that guilt remains. Because I'm working constantly on getting things in my head out on the page! even if they're weird, old fashioned, unbalanced, not trendy, or even boring to other people! They aren't those things to me! They are alive! And I will share them because we need more weirdo art out there. As long as it's real.

    1. I don't facebook. I am on instagram, but only until facebook puts ads onto it, then I'll be gone again.

  24. I am 50 next week wish i had this attitude when I was 14!

    ...DELETE, DELETE, unlike, unlike feels good,........d x

  25. A compliment from me, you make me feel uncreative so I don't come around much any more. I'm probably not even on your radar, that's how uncreative I am!

    I feel much better since I stopped hanging out in blogland, and you know what? I'm creative!
    Great post, by the way. xoxo

  26. i want to say thank you for the badges- they cracked me up. your dad is worse than my dad- i never got to read the will but i am pretty sure the accumulated crap he has isn't going to me. loved the mushroom tut. i think you might be my new favorite blog- i quit reading them and mostly writing mine when real life knocked on my door but i found yours in pinteresting land and am just wanted to say thank you for the smiles.

  27. i wanted to say thank you for making me smile. you crack me up!


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