Does your life have a soundtrack?
Right now it's the Lion King's greatest hits.
Standing on a dining room chair brandishing a stack of old journals, I
I belt "The circle of life.."
After a long romance with vintage fabric,
eight large boxes of paper got sad.
Out they came for a new year review.
it was fun to look back.
it was fun to look back.
Clearly I am a fan of the grid, and a landscape format.
These pages were done almost five years ago.
How it would be now?
What would I say?
Back then I had a voice - a journal voice.
Lets get a new journal and find out.
An inch of crust lay over my paints and inks.
Many had dried out and died completely.
Some stank.
The collection of art materials was enough
to restore the economy of a small African nation.
to restore the economy of a small African nation.
I leap into a fresh new journal like an eager lover.
Full of joyous expectation and beckoning potential.
Except I stank.
Like stale paint, I was crusty.
My journal voice croaked like a toad.
They say it takes 1000 paintings
before you get any good.
Maybe that's a rule of thumb for most things;
1000 collages, 1000 softies, 1000 cupcakes.
Coming back to journaling
after such a long time feels awkward,
clumsy and uptight.
after such a long time feels awkward,
clumsy and uptight.
How did I get this tightly wound?
Where is the sweet journal voice that brings tiny birds
from their trees, and fauns to gambol curiously closer?
from their trees, and fauns to gambol curiously closer?
Lynn Whipple has the answer.
Her art teacher said you have to keep going,
and the first few attempts will be crap,
that is part of the process.
In fact she is bravely showing her crap paintings at the moment.
As I am a complete coward,
all I'm showing you are old ones.
I'm vain.
My grandmother was so vain
she showered and dressed with her back
to the mirror till the wig was on.
Only then did she turn around.
Only then did she turn around.
I need to loosen up.
Shake free of restriction and listen again
to the small voice of intuition to let it run onto the page.
I want to drip paint,
splash ink and cut and tear
splash ink and cut and tear
my way through all eight boxes
of precious paper waiting to be reborn.
of precious paper waiting to be reborn.
So here's the solution.
Brave Intuitive You
Journal just for me.
With no perceived audience and
strangle that little narrator bedfore it strangles me
strangle that little narrator bedfore it strangles me
Flora Bowley's work is colorful, free and gorgeous.
Then maybe the toad may turn into the prince again.
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1000 cupcakes! no wonder i'm no good at them.
ReplyDeletei hope you find your mojo back. they say it's the journey that counts. i don't know if i've wished you a happy new year yet since you've been on break. never mind, Chinese New Year is round the corner so i'll just wish you that instead.
Havea good one, D, and welcome back. missed seeing your beautiful things.
When I look at my completed art, it is all trash, all becoming delight, all characters of different kinds. There are interesting failures and not so interesting successes.
ReplyDeleteYour own journal pages are remarkable for enclosing energy in a rectangle.
I know this feeling well. I make and teach journal making for other people but when it comes to making my own the brain goes into melt down. I have Randi Feuerhelm-Watts' cards 'Wide Open' they helped to loosen up and Flora is definitely the go.
ReplyDeleteEver come across Maira Kalman's book The Principles of Uncertainty? It's a year of her life, "profusely illustrated". That's how I'd like to journal. Right after I get over all that anal, uncertain bizzo and concentrate on diving in at the deep end and navigating around all the inevitable floaty bits of poo journalling that always happen while I'm looking for my groove.
ReplyDelete..floaty bits of poo...
ReplyDeleteI so get that...
Just a little bit of rust....... I like rust!!
ReplyDeleteFire the Judge!! Joy to you, Grll, in your journal return. -sus
ReplyDeleteThe same voice that used to say, "You're not going out the house wearing THAT, are you?" Dear Grrl, I cannot believe the tiny birds have ever been anywhere but just over your shoulder. It is a circle, we come back around and, though we feel lost, we aren't. Very inspiring, as always. xoxo
ReplyDeleteLove prying into your personal life with your journals. It's like looking into your medicine cabinet. Thanks for that treat. I am trying to get back into doodling and such too. I feel like all I am drawing are flowers, fruit, and the same girl with big eyes. Frustrating, but I am doing it anyway. Something has to happen. I think I am only on number 35 of 1000 anything.
ReplyDeleteI think being bold and unembarassed is maybe the key!
ReplyDeleteYour journals have bags of energy.
Your journals are fab: all that colour, all that energy. I like the notion of the 1000 rule, it feels much more attainable than the 10,000 hour rule which I've heard; whereby it's said you have to practise something for 10,000 hours to become expert at it. That's something like 3 hours a day for 10 years, yikes! Flora Bowley's course sounds like a goer, may have a look at it myself as my journals are dull as a pig farmer's bath water.
ReplyDeleteall you've got to do is give it a couple of pages and you will find it again, your voice and the joy of journaling is in there.
ReplyDeleteXOXOX
We all go through rough patches from time to time. That's you evolving. It's OK! You just need to open a journal and get going again. Tell your inner critic to shut up! ;)
ReplyDeleteI so admire your bravery. The only time I can possibly finish a journal is if I am doing it for an assignment. And look at you. You've already got some! They can actually comprise a pile!! I like what you've done, but of course if you're anything at all like me, you think maybe I'm just being nice. But then, you know that I don't worry about that now that we're friends. Another thing: I love the way you put words together!!
ReplyDeleteI love Flora Bowley's works! I must must check out this course! Of course, like with many things the past months, I'm probably late.
You rock that journal, baby!!